Germophobia
by pbow
Summary: This story takes place after "iSaved Your Life". Fredward and Carly kiss and Marissa Benson goes nuts, but then what happens? Rated T for adult situations.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the TV show **iCarly**. This is a whimsical little story from my own warped mind strictly for my own and my reader's enjoyment. I don't make any money off of it.

A/N: This is my take on how **iSaved Your Life** should've been written if I were Dan Schneider.

Xxxxxx

Germophobia

Chapter 1

Xxxxxx

Carly Shay slowly leaned in and delicately pressed her lips on those of her best male friend, and now object of her love, savoring their first real kiss.

A few days earlier he had pushed her out of the way of a taco truck and had received a broken left leg, damaged right wrist and a few cuts and bruises in the process. He was finally home in bed from the hospital and this was the first time she'd gotten to be alone with him... and also to thank him _properly._

He was her knight in shining armor, her hero, and deserved a whole lot more than a mere medal.

Fredward "Freddie" Benson was surprised at first at the buss, almost shocked. He dearly loved Carly. He'd had a crush on her ever since they first met which had grown into a deep abiding love. But she never reciprocated those feelings, always telling him that it would be silly to think of them as a couple.

Until today.

Now she was passionately kissing him in his own bed. Sure, she was still fully clothed, yet slightly wet, from helping him out of the shower after his slip and fall, and he was under the covers with only his red robe on, but it was still one of his wildest dreams come true so he went with it and kissed her back.

Freddie had just wrapped his arms around Carly and was really beginning to enjoy the make out session this was turning into when they heard a disgustingly loud:

"_WHAT THE YUCK_!"

The two teens swiftly broke the kiss and turned to the doorway.

Standing there in shock was Freddie's mom, Mrs. Marissa Benson. She quickly regained her senses (if she could ever regain something she possessed very little of to begin with) and loudly growled, _"You,"_ pointing at the dark-haired girl.

Carly let out a girlish shriek and panicked, knowing full well what an angry Mrs. Benson could be like. (Especially since the woman blamed Carly for Freddie's injuries in the first place.)

"Mom, _NO!"_ Freddie forcefully yelled as he sat up in bed when he saw his mother pull a pair of his antibacterial underwear out of his top dresser drawer and started swatting Carly with them.

The panicking girl made for the bedroom door to escape when she heard Freddie call out, "Carly, don't leave!"

"Why shouldn't she leave," Marissa snarled and took another swipe at the brunette, which missed. _"She's_ the reason you're hurt, Fredward Benson. It should've been _her_ getting hit by that truck instead of you."

"No mom," Freddie snarled back as he struggled out of bed and stood up as best as he could on his one good leg. "No one shoulda been hit by that truck. The guy was traveling way too fast and failed to stop before the crosswalk. As I pushed Carly outta the way I was able to look up just as the truck was about to hit me and saw he was checking his mirrors and not looking where he was going. It was _his_ fault I'm injured. I was just making sure that Carly didn't get killed by that maniac."

"Freddie, you shouldn't be up," Carly cooed in deep concern as she went over and supported his weight by draping his good arm over her shoulders. "Please, get back into bed."

"I'm alright for now, Carls," Freddie answered back and defiantly kissed her on the cheek in front of his mother, making Mrs. Benson grumble something about germs. He turned on his mother and ferociously asked, "What did you just say?"

"I said," Mrs. Benson started quietly before her countenance changed and she fiercely continued, "that she's probably spreading who-knows-what kinds of germs and diseases to you."

"That's uncalled for. And besides, don't you think that's a little paranoid?" Freddie suspiciously asked as he let Carly help him sit on the edge of the bed. This was a confrontation he'd always dreaded would happen, but knew it had to one day.

It looked like today was a good day for a lot of unusual things to happen: Carly openly showing her affection toward him and now the ultimate showdown with his mother being the top two at the moment.

"No it's not," Marissa said as she angrily brushed past the brunette, grabbed a can of disinfectant off the shelf above the bed and started to spray him down. "Germs and diseases such as dysentery were the number one cause of fatalities during the Civil War, and they're even more virulent today. We're just lucky that disinfectants and medications have kept up with such things."

"Mom!" Freddie yelped and flailed away until he was finally able to knock the aerosol can from her hand. "That's _enough_!"

A sudden flash of inspiration hit Freddie when he noticed Carly shiver a bit, her shirt and pants were still dripping wet from when she'd helped him out of the shower. He got an idea which would distract his mother from her current concerns over his well being.

"I think you should be more concerned about Carly catching a cold," Freddie said, pointing at the girl. "She's drenched from helping me when I slipped earlier in the shower."

"You're absolutely correct," Marissa said, going into nurse-mode after noticing how wet Carly's shirt and sweatpants were. "Out you go." She started to hustle Carly out of the room again.

"But you don't want her spreading her cold germs to Spenser," Freddie quickly shouted, stopping his mother's actions. "If both Carly and Spencer gets sick it could infect the whole eight floor... maybe even the whole apartment building... or the _city!"_

"Oh, you're right again, Freddie," Mrs. Benson sighed, stopping to think through the situation. "What would Alexander Fleming do?"

"Well," Freddie said with a sly smirk, (knowing that Fleming was the man who'd discovered Penicillin) praying his hastily conceived plan was going to come to fruition, "since Carly has probably already infected me when we kissed, maybe she should be kept here in my room. You know, keep us under quarantine until you're sure the germs are destroyed."

"That's a good idea, Fredward," Mrs. Benson said as she walked over to Carly and practically tore the cute, multi-pastel hued tank top and long-sleeved gray undershirt off of the girl. "Get undress young lady and get into bed. I'll wash your clothes to make sure they're germ free." The crazy woman then stripped the young teen of her leggings and socks, too.

"Mrs. Benson," Carly shrieked at the manhandling, as she was swiftly stripped down to just her bra and panties and shoved under the blanket on the opposite side of the queen-sized bed from Freddie.

Marissa got one of Freddie's penny t-shirts out of the dresser and tossed it to Carly, then demanded with an outstretched hand, "Your underclothes, too."

"Ummm-aaaaaah," Carly stammered before she looked over at Freddie and caught his sly, smiling nod. "Oh, okay," she shrugged and stripped off her panties and bra under the covers and handed them to Mrs. Benson before slipping on the shirt. It was way too big on her slim body and it didn't quite reach down to cover her crotch at all, but it was _something_ to wear in bed.

"You'd better wash my robe too," Freddie said as he shed said article of clothing and handed it to his mother. Mrs. Benson got a pair of gym shorts and another t-shirt out of the drawers. She helped him put the short on over his leg cast that was still sticking out from under the blanket and made sure he donned the t-shirt before she turned to go.

"I like the way you're thinking?" Carly softly cooed to her hero after his mother had left the room. She started to wrap her arms around Freddie to resume their make out session but was stopped short when Freddie prevented her from moving to his side of the bed. "Wha..."

"One minute," was all Freddie said as he pointed toward the door.

Not three seconds later, Mrs. Benson appeared in the doorway with a three inch wide roll of bright yellow plastic tape with black letters printed on it. She swiftly made a big "X" across the outside of the door with the tape and stood back to admire her work for a few seconds before she said, "I'll be back in forty-two minutes with your pain prescription, Freddy, and whatever cold remedies the drug store has for the both of you." She swiftly left the apartment and the two teens let out a sigh of relief as they finally heard the front door slam shut.

Carly giggled when she saw what was printed on the yellow caution tape and had to ask, "Your mother has a roll of caution tape that says '**Quarantine - Keep Out**' on it?"

"My mom has a roll of _every_ kind of warning tape," Freddie sighed as he stripped off the t-shirt, rolled over to sit on the side of the bed and pointed to his desk. "Now we don't have much time so get my laptop and the lipstick cam and bring them over here."

"But I'm practically _naked,"_ Carly protested, drawing the sheet and blanket up to her chin in embarrassment.

"So am I," Freddie said as he struggled to get up and grab his crutches. He slowly hobbled over to his closet, his broken left leg and unfamiliarity in the use the crutches making it hard for him to walk. Carly could see the gym shorts were only hanging around his thigh above the cast. Freddie had only _pretended_ to put them on the other leg and pull them up under the covers.

Carly's eyes went wide when she realized she was seeing a totally naked male's body for the first time. (Watching porn on the internet with Sam didn't really count.) Freddie had certainly buffed up a bit from the last time they'd gone swimming over the summer. His chest and arms weren't what you'd call chiseled but there was a lot more bulk and definition than when she last saw him in his swimming trunks. And the sight of Freddie's... _thing_ between his legs made her want to start to drool.

Freddie saw Carly's wide-eyed stare and said, "My mom doesn't like it but I prefer to be naked whenever I'm in my room and she's not around. It's just my little way to protest against her tyrannical reign."

The boy saw Carly was still staring so he firmly hushed, "Carls," and broke the brunette out of her haze as he removed a hook that was hanging over the door of his closet. The hook had a small chain attached to hang clothes from. He removed the clothes from the chain and just tossed them into the closet, then sat back down on the bed and retrieved a roll of electrical tape from the drawer of the night stand.

"Sorry," Carly squeaked as she swiftly jumped out of bed and raced over to the desk. She grabbed the laptop and small lipstick shaped camera then sat down next to him, yanking the hem of the shirt down as far as she could to cover her lap.

As Carly sat next to her long-time friend, she suddenly realized that she didn't mind that the boy was totally naked except for the casts on his left leg and right wrist, and that she wasn't totally covered either. After all, she _did_ have a bit of an exhibitionist streak in her and their web show was a prime example. Carly hadn't thought twice when she and Sam were live on the air in bikinis or leotards, and her Idiot Farm Girl costume, while slightly modest, still showed a lot more skin than any of the other, everyday clothes she normally wore. Who knows how many sexual fantasies those web show costumes created. She quickly stripped the t-shirt off and tossed it to her side of the bed.

"That's okay," Freddie lightly chuckled, seeing the embarrassed blush that'd tinged her cheeks and also blossomed half way down her naked chest. "I don't think I'm functioning with all my brain cells right now, either. The pills the doctor gave me were kinda strong." He briefly checked out Carly's naked body as he spoke then accepted the two pieces of equipment from her and quickly went to work.

Carly was okay with Freddie looking her over. After all, hadn't she been doing the same to him?

"Well yeah. I was hoping for a minor make out session, but not a major one where we're both naked..." Carly said as she continued to ogle the man who had saved her life, "...At least not yet, anyway. Not that I'm complaining about the view or what said view could _possibly_ lead to."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying, Miss Shay?" Freddie coyly begged with a single cocked eyebrow as he spared a glance her way.

"I am, Mr Benson," Carly shyly answered as she draped an arm around his shoulders and watched as he went back to fiddling with the different objects they'd gathered. "I got extremely jealous when I found out that you'd kissed Sam which led me to think about you and I becoming more than just-friends. My feelings for you only deepened when we danced at the Groovy Smoothie after the girl's choice dance. And now after the accident, I realize that I don't think I could live without you in my life. You keep me sane and safe so I've decided that I want to become Mrs. Carly Benson in a few years. And if that's the case, we might as well start acting like a married couple."

"Are... are you sure, Carls?" Freddie tentatively asked, taking his eyes off of the work he was doing. It was a dream of his ever since he met the brunette, to have her love him as much as he loved her. But he also wanted Carly to be absolutely sure she was in love with him before they took that next step and start dating exclusively with all the benefits that went with it. After all, they were only sixteen years old.

"I'm _positive,_ Fredward," Carly giggled and planted a chaste kiss on his cheek, then looked down at the laptop, chain and lipstick cam. "What _are_ you doing?" Carly asked, changing the topic to avoid blushing any redder from the sexual fantasies that had started flitting through her head.

Freddie had removed the chain and secured the camera to the hook with a short strip of electrical tape. He handed the hook to her and said, "Put this over the bedroom door so the camera faces down the hall." He picked up his laptop and started typing away on it. "When it's in place, we'll be able to know when mom is moving toward the door."

"An early warning system," Carly nodded with a big smile spreading across her face as she suddenly understood what he had been cobbling together. "Niiiiice." She swiftly grabbed the desk chair, stood on it and hung the hook over the door before closing it and returning the chair to its usual place.

"Now," Freddie said in deep concentration as he surfed through his files, selecting a few, "I just need to incorporate that camera's signal with this file and... _viola!"_

Carly hopped back onto the bed and peered over his shoulder at the screen. She could see pictures of different parts of the apartment and the rest of the building as they flipped through in the program window that was running. "Where did you get all of the equipment for this?"

"Do you remember when I tapped into the building's security cameras last year?"

"Yeah, that was when we started using the lobby camera for the 'Messing With Lewbert' segments," Carly said, remembering what he was talking about and how they'd once injured the hideous looking, obnoxious doorman with a gift basket full of muffins.

"Well, beside the one in the lobby," Freddie slyly smiled over his shoulder at her as he finished typing and set the laptop on the nightstand, "the Lewbert cam as we dubbed it, there's one in the outside hallway that covers both of our apartment doors and I have two cameras in the apartment to keep track of my mom. One is aimed at the front door from the kitchen and the other is pointed across the living room, aimed at the hallway to the bedrooms. Between those cameras and the one you just installed we should know where my mom is at all times."

"Clever," Carly cooed as she pulled Freddie back onto the bed, taking care that his broken leg was supported by the pillow down there. "That means we'll know when to stop making out because she's heading toward your room."

"That's the general idea, Miss Shay," Freddie said as he allowed Carly to push him onto his back and lie down on top of him. "Or should I start calling you Mrs. Benson?"

Carly gave him a passionate but brief kiss before she leaned back a bit and asked, "But if we're, um, _preoccupied,_ how will we be able to keep track of your mom's location and know when she's heading our way?"

Freddie smugly answered, "With the camera you just installed. I have it and the other's in the apartment programmed for motion detection. When any of them detects someone moving toward the hall or my room, it'll set off a warning tone."

"Ooooh, _you_ are a technical wiz kid," Carly sensually purred and writhed atop his body. "Well, you'd better get ready because I'm about to spread some more of my nasty cold germs."

Xxxxxx

The early warning alarm system worked like a charm. The two teens had ample time to get dressed and tidy up their appearance a bit before Mrs. Benson entered the bedroom.

Unfortunately, there hadn't been enough time to consummate their new relationship during the brief time Mrs. Benson was at the drug store.

Fortunately, Carly was able to stifle a laugh when Freddie's mother entered the bedroom dressed in a full-body Haz Mat suit. (Freddie only let out a groan, having seen his mother in the protective gear before.)

"Here's your pain medication..." Mrs. Benson said, her voice muffled from the large heavy suit, as she handed a small paper bag to Freddie. She turned to Carly and handed her a much larger bag as she said, "...and here's some cold preventatives for you, young lady. Be sure you take the recommended dosage of each, the both of you. I'll be back shortly with some green tea. The antioxidants in the tea will help your body's immune systems." With those instructions given, she waddled out of the room.

"Antioxidants?" Carly giggled as she started to take the boxes and bottles of pills out of the bag.

"Just go with it," Freddie chuckled back as he read the dosage information on his prescription. "Green tea is actually pretty tasty."

"How are we suppose to take all of these?" Carly question in amazement as she scanned the ten or twelve bottle of vitamins and minerals now in her lap and started opening them.

"If mom doesn't come back with a mallet and apple sauce we'll be able to wash 'em all down with the tea," Freddie answered.

Before Carly could ask what he meant, they were disturbed again by someone in the doorway. If it wasn't for the tall, lanky shaped body, long hair and mannerisms, they wouldn't have know it was Carly's brother, Spencer Shay. He was wearing a full surgical mask covering his mouth and nose, long yellow latex gloves like you'd use when washing dishes or cleaning the oven, and his whole body was covered with some kind of white powdery substance which gave him a ghostly appearance.

"Spencer?" Carly begged in confusion as she pulled the covers up to her chin. "What are you doing here and why are you all white?"

"Mrs. Benson stopped at the apartment and said you were highly contagious and under quarantine," Spencer said as he tentatively held out a large paper bag in front of him and cautiously inched into the room, "and that you would need your pajamas and stuff, so I brought 'em over. She doused me with some kinda disinfectant powder before she would let me step into the apartment. She _was_ gonna lend me the Haz Mat suit but I told her it probably wouldn't fit me 'cause I'm so much taller than her." He dropped the bag on the foot of the bed and swiftly hurried back to the doorway.

"I'm _not_ contagious," Carly laughed at her brother's antics.

"You're not?"

"No," Carly giggled. "She only _thinks_ I might catch a cold."

At Spenser's quizzical look, Freddie expanded on the explanation. "I slipped and fell in the shower and Carly helped me up. Her clothes got wet and mom thought Carly would catch a cold and spread it to the whole building, so she isolated us."

"She thought the whole _building_ would catch a cold?" Spencer laughed. Knowing Freddie's mom and her germaphobic obsession he could see where the thought had come from.

_"After_ you put that line of thought in her head," Carly playfully accused the boy in bed with her with a light slap to his arm.

"Hey," Freddie jokingly defended himself. "I was thinking about how I'd be all alone in this bedroom for a few days before she'd let me go back to school." He gave her a sly wink, telling her that her witty banter wasn't the only reason he'd wanted her there with him. "Now I won't be so lonely."

"Well," Spencer said as he quickly checked the hallway to make sure Mrs. Benson wasn't within earshot, "just don't get too chummy with my little sister. We don't want any little Carlys and/or Freddies running around in nine months."

"Spencer!" Carly yelled, a blush coming full bloom on her cheeks.

"Just kidding, kiddo," Spencer laughed so hard he had to lean against the door frame. "I know you two won't do that. Well, I gotta run. Socko and I are going to a sock convention to see what's new in the world of socks..." He looked down at the powdery white stuff covering him and added, _"...And_ I'll need a major shower and change of clothes before I leave."

"Just remember," Carly called out to him as he turned in the doorway, "no rollerblading in the shower." Spencer waved off her playful jibe, bid his good-byes and left.

"Here you go, kids," Mrs. Benson said as she came back into the room, still wearing the Haz Mat suit and carrying a tray with a tea pot with two cups and saucers on it. She set it on the nightstand on Freddie's side of the bed.

"Thanks mom."

"Thank you Mrs. Benson."

"Now, are you two going to be okay? I have to go in for a half shift at the hospital to fill in for someone."

"We'll be fine, mom," Freddie whined and rolled his eyes as he poured a cup of tea then handed it to Carly. "We'll just sleep the afternoon away and maybe catch up or get ahead on our homework."

"That's a good idea," Marissa said as she got out another blanket, shook it out and spread it over the bed. She folded the fresh blanket a few times until it was in one long narrow strip and placed it between the two teens. She pulled a tape measure out of one of the huge pockets of Haz Mat suit and measured across the bottom of the bed. Marissa moved the new blanket over a few inches and then, satisfied, said, "Now you each have half of the bed. I don't expect to find either of you on the other's side."

"You won't catch me," Carly slyly said before she caught the accusing stare coming from Mrs. Benson. She quickly added, "I mean I don't want to spread my germs to Freddie or catch his broken bones so I'll stay on my side." To cover her almost slip, she started to get a couple of pills from each of the bottles of vitamins and quickly swallowed them with a slurping sip from her tea cup.

Marissa Benson warily peered at the two teens for a few seconds before she smiled and casually said, "Okay. I'll be home at precisely eight twenty eight. Spencer will bring you your dinner at six eighteen... _if_ he remembers." She angrily shook her head and turned to leave.

"I'll call and remind him," Carly offered with a raised tea cup, indicating the healthy brew, "and remind him to make it nutritious."

The two waited to hear the front door close, indicating that Mrs. Benson had left for work, before they broke out into peals of laughter.

"Wait a minute," Freddie said as the laughter subsided. "How is Spencer supposed to bring us dinner if he's at a sock convention?"

"Don't worry about it," Carly said as she leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. "I'll make us something to eat when we get hungry, if all these pills don't fill us up before then."

They spent the next hour exploring and consummating to their heart's content. Luckily, Freddie's mom had inadvertently assisted them with that part of their new relationship, having given him a box of condoms when she had warned him about the dangers of the the birds and the bees a few years earlier. Afterward, they fell asleep in each others arms.

The newly formed couple was awoken a little while later by a familiar feminine voice.

"Carls! Are you in here?"

"Sam?" Carly called back, contently wiping the sleep from here eyes. "Yeah. We're in Freddie's room."

"What the chizz is going on?" The blond hellion asked as she read the yellow tape plastered across the door before she turned on Freddie and Carly who were trying to fully cover themselves with the blanket. "Why are you quarantined?"

"It was my mom's idea," Freddie said in exasperation, still upset with the way his mother treated him all the time. (Even though it meant Carly and he were now _sharing_ a bed in every sense of the word.)

"Freddie fell while taking a shower," Carly continued the explanation, "and I got wet helping him up and into bed. She thought I might catch a cold and spread it to the entire building."

"So she quarantined us until further notice," Freddie finished Carly's sentence.

"Dudes!" Sam nervously laughed as she slowly entered the room. "You two sound like you're an old married couple, finishing off each other's sentences. It's freaking me out."

"Well, we're not married just yet," Carly cooed as she sat up, letting the blanket spill around her waist and baring her naked torso. She snuggled into Freddie's embrace, "But we will be in the future."

"Whoa, Carls," Sam said in shock. "Are you two... I mean did you and Freddork...?"

"Yes," Carly sighed and kissed Freddie's chest. "He was an animal in bed."

"You weren't so bad yourself," Freddie lovingly answered back with a kiss to the top of her head.

"Listen. I'm hungry, how about you?" Carly suddenly questioned her new beau as she nakedly rolled out of her side of the bed and grabbed the bag Spencer had left. She started getting dressed her her own PJ's.

"I'm starving," Freddie moaned. "I guess we both worked up quite an appetite."

"Ugh," Sam spat in disgust. "That's a picture I do_ not_ want in my head, Fredweird."

"Saaaam," Carly said in her best warning voice as she glared daggers at her best female friend. "You know you're not supposed to dis my boyfriend, my _future_ _husband._ I won't stand for that."

"Alright, alright," Sam ceded with her hands waving to ward off any physical attack from the brunette, even though she knew Carly would never assault her. "No more dissing the Nub while you're around." She went over to the bed, swiftly lifted the covers and got a good look at Freddie's naked assets. She gasped, "But now I see why you like the techno nerd so much. His nub ain't so nubby. I guess Freddie's cast isn't the only thing that was hard in bed this afternoon."

"Sam!" Both Carly and Freddie yelled as he swiped his blanket and sheet back to cover himself.

After glaring at Sam for a few seconds to make sure her friend wasn't going to make any more snide remarks, Carly turned on her heels and headed for the door as she announced, "I'm going to get something for us to eat. I'll be back in a little bit. Do you want to help me, Sam?"

"Nah, I'm good," the blond girl answered as she skirted the foot of the bed and sat on Carly's side of the mattress before kicking back. "I think I'll just stay here and chill-ax. I doubt if there's anything in this whole house that's edible anyway."

"Suit yourself," Carly said as she left the bedroom.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a minute. Well, it was uncomfortable for Freddie, not knowing exactly what Sam was up to. The blond she-demon was always up to something and it usually ended up with him getting hurt in some manner. Right now she was lying on Carly's side of the bed, resting with her arms folded behind her head, but Freddie knew Sam was going to pull some prank on him. It was in Sam's nature to pick on him.

"Enjoy it while you can," the blond said with a broad smile and content sigh.

Freddie didn't know what she was talking about and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know. Every time she said something cryptic like that and he asked, well, he always regretted the answer.

Unfortunately, his innate curiosity won out, just like it always did.

"What are you talking about, Sam?" Freddie asked, shifting his weight around to get more comfortable on his side of the bed.

"The love," was all the blond answered, her smug smile growing ever so slightly like she knew something he didn't.

"Again," Freddie huffed in exasperation. _"What_ are you talking about?"

Sam rolled onto her side to face him, the smile never leaving her face. "I'm talking about you and Carls. I know you like her a lot but she only likes you right now because you saved her bacon."

"Wha...?" was all Freddie got out before he was interrupted.

"You know it's true. Carly is in hero worship mode right now. That's why she's in love with you. It's like the time I fell for Moseby."

Freddie was stunned, to say the least. His curiosity still piqued, he asked, "You mean the kid with the big nose? Noseby Moseby?"

"Yeah," Sam answered as she laid back down and wistfully waxed on. "He kept asking me out and asking me out and I kept turning him down until he got me that 'Foreign Bacon of the Month' subscription. That's when I caved in and started to date him."

"What does Moseby and foreign bacon have to do with Carly and me?" Freddie begged in indignation, not seeing the connection at all.

"Don't you get it?" Sam practically screamed as she rolled onto her side again to stare Freddie in the eyes. "I didn't like him until he gave me _bacon_, and you just saved _Carly's_ bacon by saving her _life."_

"So..." Freddie pondered what his blond friend was saying to him, "...you're saying that Carly only loves me because I saved her life? That she thinks of me as... foreign bacon?"

"Bingo!" Sam triumphantly cheered and poked Freddie in the side as she happily growled, _"You,_ are only bacon... And the cheap domestic soy stuff at that."

"I don't think so."

The calm but disbelieving voice wasn't Freddie's, it came from the doorway. The two teens on the bed looked over and saw Carly standing there, a plate with two cheese sandwiches on wheat bread in one hand and a can of Peppy Cola in the other. One of the sandwiches already had a bite taken out of it.

"I was coming up the hallway back to the room and heard what you said, Sam, and you're _wrong,"_ Carly firmly stated as she casually walked over to the bed, set the plate and soda down on the tray next to the pot of tea on the nightstand, and sat down beside Freddie. She lovingly stroked his cheek as she continued, "Freddie saving my life only solidified my feelings for him. I realized my _true_ feelings at the Groovy Smoothie a few weeks ago after the Girl's Choice dance. We were both so angry over what happened that night after our dates left. But Freddie saw how frustrated I was with the whole thing and he asked me to dance."

"I know," Sam confessed, looking a bit wistful. "When I saw your date leave I went back to talk to you. I saw you two dancing and didn't want to interfere."

"Thank you for letting us have our moment," Carly said as she laid down on top of the blanket and snuggled into Freddie's side, careful of his injuries. He automatically snaked his arm around her. "Anyway, as we were dancing, I suddenly realized just how comfortable and safe I felt in his arms. It felt like... home. Then I also remembered how Freddie has always tried to make me feel loved, whatever the circumstances."

"I've only want you to be happy," Freddie said before he gently kissed the top of her head. "That's all I've ever wanted."

"And that only tells me just how much you love me," Carly answered back as she snaked her arms around his body and lightly squeezed, showing him how much she loved him.

The remained like that, in silence, for a few minutes. All three thinking about what had been revealed that afternoon.

But the afternoon of revelations wasn't over quite yet.

Carly sat up and placed the plate of food on Freddie's lap, grabbed the partially eaten sandwich and took a bite. As she chewed, she looked over at her girl friend and said, "Now Sam, we need to talk about _your_ feels for Freddie."

"My feelings?" the blond girl nervously chuckled like it was all a joke. "What about my feelings for the Nub?"

"I know why you treat Freddie the way you do," Carly coyly said as she pushed a bit of the sandwich, which was trying to escape, back into her mouth. "You treat him badly to make him pay more attention to you because you like him. You call him a Nub but I know what you think that stands for: Nature's Ultimate Butt. You think Freddie's butt is cute. You _like_ him."

"Is that true, Sam?" Freddie queried after he swallowed a bite of his own cheese sandwich.

"Mamma don't gotta listen to any of this chizz," Sam indignantly huffed as she swiftly rolled off the bed.

"Yes you do," Carly practically yelled as she bolted off the bed and blocked the doorway with her body so Sam couldn't leave. "You've liked Freddie all along but you didn't know how to tell him. So like a very old cliche, you started to tease and pick on Freddie to make him notice you."

"Oh yeah?" Sam yelled back, her indignation piquing. "So what if that's true? Freddie's only had eyes for _you_ and now he's got what he's always wanted." She swiftly covered her face with both hands and turned away, her shoulders violently shaking. Both Carly and Freddie knew right away that Sam was upset and crying.

"Sam, I..." Freddie tried to say something but he didn't know how to finish the sentence. What _could_ he say? If he knew she liked him years ago would they have become better friends? Was her abrasive demeanor only a ploy to gain his attention? (Freddie obviously didn't ask the one question where the answer was a definite no. He would definitely _not_ put aside his love for Carly to start dating Sam.)

"Sam," Carly softly said as she went over to her friend and wrapped the blond girl in a warm hug from behind, "there _is_ a solution if you're willing to try."

"What's that, (_sniffle)_ Carls?" Sam begged, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her shirt as she tried to tamp down her out of control emotions from the revelation.

"Well, I think we..." Carly said aloud before she started whispering in Sam's ear.

The blond girl's eyes went wide in astonishment as her lower jaw hung down to her belly button. "Are you _serious!?"_ She turned around to look her girl friend in the eye to make sure she'd heard Carly right.

"We're best friends," Carly lightly laughed. "And best friends share everything."

"Ah, Carly," Freddie warily asked as he sat up a bit straighter to find out what was going on. "What did you suggest to Sam?"

"Move over, Nu... I mean Freddie," Sam ordered as she went to his side of the bed and unceremoniously pushed him to the center.

"Sam!" the teen boy shouted like he always did whenever Sam manhandled or bossed him around, or both.

"It's okay, Freddie," Carly cooed to her boyfriend/lover as she swiftly stripped off her pajamas pants and shirt and got under the sheets on her side of the bed.

"That's right," Sam forcefully said as she quickly doffed all of her clothes and hopped into bed opposite Carly. "You're gonna pop mamma's cherry."

"Say _what!?"_ Freddie yelped in confusion, shooting unbelieving glances between the two girls as Sam wrapped her arms around his torso and hugged him tight.

"Sam and I are going to _share_ you," Carly cooed as her hands snaked beneath the covers and lightly latched on to his privates. "You'll be my boyfriend-slash-fiancé and Sam will be your... I mean _our_ mistress," She leaned across Freddie's torso and kissed Sam on the lips.

"Mamma like," Sam softly enthused as her hand joined Carly's in pleasuring the boy between them.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, locations or anything else from the Nickelodeon series **iCarly** and make nothing from this story except your praise or ridicule. I accept both, but if you're just going to dis me because you're a Creddie or Seddie fan, then forget it. I'm not taking sides.

A/N: This is a "what if" story that takes place after Freddie gets home from the hospital in the episode, "**iSaved your Life**". I have Carly, Sam and Freddie all being around sixteen years old here, just deal with the age discrepancy from canon.

Xxxxxx

Germophobia

Chapter 2

Xxxxxx

"Sam and I are going to _share_ you," Carly cooed as her hands snaked beneath the covers and lightly latched on to his privates. "You'll be my boyfriend-slash-fiancé and Sam will be your... I mean _our_ mistress," She leaned in and kissed Sam on the lips.

"Mamma like," Sam softly enthused as her hand joined Carly's in pleasuring the boy between them.

Carly, Sam and Freddie all enjoyed their evening of delight. It was awkward, but loving. One person would be left out of it on occasion to watch while the other two were making love but, eventually, a rhythm was established and all three of the teens were well satisfied and no longer virgins before too long.

Unfortunately, Freddie had forgotten to reset his early warning system after they were first disturbed by his mother, (that's why it didn't go off when Sam showed up) so it was a big surprise when Marissa Benson walked in on the three naked teens still going at it at exactly eight twenty-eight post meridieum time and yelled,

"_DOUBLE WHAT THE YUCK_!"

"Mom?" Freddie yelped in surprise, disparately trying to cover himself up with his hands since the sheet and blanket had been shoved off the bed early on during the three-way action.

"Mrs. Benson?" Carly shrieked, rolled off of Freddie and continued off the bed onto the floor to try and hide her nakedness. She briefly wondered where the Haz Mat suit disappeared to since Marissa wasn't wearing it at the moment, but the thought quickly vanished as Carly tried to crawl under the bed.

"Hey, Mrs. B.," Sam casually said before she went back to sucking on Freddie's neck, leaving a huge hickey.

"What's going on here?" Mrs. Benson begged, still in a state of shock. She swiftly covered her eyes with a hand and turned away from the youthful debauchery.

"Well, if you don't know," Sam laughed as she took a break from the love-making and sat up in bed, "then it's been waaaaay too long since you got laid."

"Watch your mouth, young lady," Mrs. Benson angrily snarled and turned on the blond girl, her hand dropping from her eyes for the confrontation. "I will not stand for any swearing in my house."

"Who's swearing?" Sam defensively yelled back as she got out of bed and went to confront Freddie's mother in her birthday suit. "I didn't say anything bad." Meanwhile, Carly took the opportunity from Sam's distraction to swiftly get dressed and help Freddie find his gym shorts and put them on.

"Yes you did," Marissa indignantly answered as she again turned her back and covered her eyes with a hand. "You were talking about having... about doing _it_. That's swearing in this household. It's dirty and I won't have that kind of talk going on in front of my little Freddie."

"Mom," Freddie yelped in disgust at the way his mother always treated him like a baby. He grabbed the partially used box of condoms off the nightstand and showed it to his mother. "I know all about sex. You taught me all about it right here in this bedroom."

"I was _warning_ you about the evil sins of the flesh," Mrs. Benson yelped in surprise that her son would argue with her on the subject as she turned to face the bed. "You know I don't believe in pleasures of the flesh and I would _never_ do such a thing."

_"What?_ Wait a minute,"Carly hollered in surprise as she moved over to confront the woman. "You must have had sex at least once. You're Freddie's _mother."_

"No, I've _never_ done it before," Marissa snarled at the brunette. "Unlike you... you who have just defiled my baby boy." As if that piece of information just registered in her mind, Mrs. Marissa Benson suddenly broke down and started to cry. She wailed, "_My Baby! My baby is no longer a virgin_!"

"Mom! _MOM!"_ Freddie yelled to get her attention. It didn't work since Mrs. Benson was practically bent over in uncontrollable sobs, ready to collapse at any second.

"Sam, Carly," Freddie said and motioned for them to bring his mother over to the bed. The two girls complied, laying her on Freddie's side of the bed. (He was still laying in the middle third of the mattress) Mrs. Benson curled up in a ball with her arms around her son.

It took a few minutes but the Benson matriarch finally settled down enough to sit up a bit, still clutching on to her son like her life depended on it.

Freddie soothed his mother by rubbing her back as he asked, "Mom, what do you mean you've never had sex before? How can you be my mother if you've never done it?"

"It was your Aunt Judy," Marissa hiccuped as she mostly composed herself.

"Aunt Judy?" Freddie questioned. "I don't remember you mentioning an Aunt Judy before."

"She was my sister," Marissa answered before she hissed out at the memory, "the promiscuous _tramp._ She was dating your father, Gerald, but they had a huge argument and she dumped him. I immediately started going out with him because he was a fine, upstanding man. Nine months later we got married because Judy was with _his_ child and didn't want to marry him. She was able to attend the reception but went into labor just before it ended. Your _father_ drove her to the hospital." Marissa sniffled before she continued. "But they got into an accident as they were about to pull into the parking lot. The doctors rushed out to help but Judy was the only one who survived. They rushed her into the operating room and you was born." She almost broke down again as she whispered, "But Judy died of a viral infection a few days later."

"So," Sam butted in, "how did you end up with Freddie?"

"Four months before the wedding ceremony," Marissa almost silently answered, "Judy had some tests done that proved Gerald was Freddie's father. That was one of the reasons why he and I got married so quickly. We'd already filed the proper paperwork for custody and since my name was on the papers, and Gerald and I were legally married, well, I ended up with Freddie."

"So you're not my _biological_ mother," Freddie stated, just to set the record straight.

"I may not be your biological mother," Marissa cooed as she lovingly stroked the boy's cheek, "but I'm your mother in every other sense of the word." She turned to a naked Sam and harshly screamed, "_Will you please put some clothes on_! _It's unsanitary!_"

"Mother," Freddie hollered out of habit, even if she wasn't his real mother. "Being naked is_ not_ unsanitary! Where do you get these ideas?"

"The _world_ is just one big cesspool of germs and diseases," Marissa angrily growled as she got up off the bed and started to pace around the room in agitation. "They're all around us, just waiting to attack and kill us; Just like your Aunt Judy. It's a constant battle but I will defeat the enemy."

"Enemy?" Carly begged in surprise as she pointed out the bedroom door toward the other rooms in the apartment. "Is that why you have an autoclave in the kitchen?"

"An autoclave?" Sam begged in amusement. "What's that?"

"It's a piece of equipment used in hospitals to sterilize surgical instruments," Freddie informed his blond friend and now bed mate. "Mom uses it to sterilize the kitchen utensils before we use them."

"And you don't find that a bit paranoid?" Carly asked her boyfriend as she gestured to the woman who was now pacing back and forth in the room ignoring them, obviously in deep thought while muttering to herself. Mrs. Benson suddenly snapped out of it like she'd just thought of something and swiftly left the room.

Freddie motioned for the two girls to come over to him. When they got close enough, he said, "Don't you think I know my mom is nuts? I have to put up with her every day and it looks like it all stems from _my_ _birth_ and Aunt Judy's _death."_

"Well we know she's insane and now we know what caused it. Maybe she should be committed or something," Sam offered as the most obvious solution.

"Sam, we're only sixteen," Freddie countered. "We aren't adults yet. If my mom is taken away I'll be sent off to live at a relative's house... or worse yet, Family Services in Olympia."

"So," Sam lightly jibed. "Then you'd be outta my hair."

"You mean out of _our_ hair," Carly angrily shot back to her blond friend. "And that would be the end of our little web show, too."

"Whoa," Sam gasped in realization. "Mamma likes doing the show. I guess the Nub has some uses."

"You mean besides giving you the best night of your life?" Freddie coyly asked as he ran his hand over Sam's set of sensitive lower lips, letting a finger briefly brush up and into the folds. "Both you and Carly will be without the show _and_ neither of you will have any more orgasms until you find another guy to replace me."

Sam shivered in utter bliss under Freddie's ministration for a minute before he removed his now slick hand. She took a few deep breathes to come down from the brief high she'd just experienced and let out a heavy sigh before she said, "Well, I guess we shouldn't get rid of the nut job just yet. But what else can we do?"

"I think I have an idea, but I'll need to get out of here and talk to Spencer," Carly slyly said as she went over, picked up the blanket and sheet from the floor and started to put them back on the bed.

"What are you thinking?" Sam asked as she, out of sheer habit, helped Carly with the linen.

"You'll see. Just stay out of sight for now," Carly slyly said as she made sure Freddie was comfortable and his foot wasn't under the blanket. She waited for Sam to grab her clothes and hide in the bathroom before she went over to the hall door and called out, "Mrs. Benson! Mrs. Benson?"

"Yes, Carlotta?" Marissa pleasantly chimed as she walked down the hall, removing a pair of pink latex gloves from her hands. She was acting as if the previous confrontation never happened. "I was just putting your clean clothes in the dryer. They should be done in thirty-six minutes."

"That's good because I'm feeling much better," the brunette enthused, wondering if the woman was possibly schizophrenic, bi-polar or simply forgetful. "I'm positive I didn't catch a cold due to your intervention, you _are_ a very good nurse after all, so I was wondering when I could return to my apartment."

"I don't see why you can't leave once your clothes are dry," Marissa said as she removed the yellow caution tape from the bedroom door now believing that the germ crisis was over.

"Okay," Carly readily agreed and went over to the night stand. She picked up the empty plate and soda can from dinner, turned to Mrs. Benson and said, "I'll just clean these up while I wait."

"No you won't, young lady," Mrs. Benson said, snatching the plate from Carly's hands. (Using the caution tape and gloves as protection while grabbing the plate, guarding her hands from any germs on it.) "You don't know how to properly wash a dinner plate to make it germ free. I'll take care of it." She quickly turned and entered the hallway.

"Well, could you show me how to do it properly?" the brunette teen asked as she followed, hoping to get a little more ammunition for her plan. "I'd love for you to teach me so I can help out around the apartment since Freddie will be incapacitated for a while."

"Well," Marissa thought it over for a few seconds before she pleasantly smiled and said. "I suppose since you'll be coming over here to help out, it's high time you to learn how things are properly done." She turned and walked up the hallway.

Carly ducked back into the room and hissed, "Sam, get dressed and get back over to my apartment. I'll be over as quick as I can. Freddy, I'll text you later and tell you what's going on."

Carly quickly hurried off to the kitchen where she found Mrs. Benson putting on another pair of long, yellow, latex gloves. The older woman handed her a pink a pair and said, "Put these on."

"Thank you," Carly answered and donned the protective wear. "What now?"

"If you'd be so kind, Carlotta," Marissa said as she pointed to the sink, "would you please rinse out the soda can."

"Oh, I get it," Carly enthused as she went to the sink and turned on the hot water, thinking she'd figured out why this was the proper thing to do. "You rinse out the aluminum can before throwing it in the recycle bin. That way it doesn't attract any insects."

"We do more than simply rinsing out aluminum and other used canned goods," Marissa said as she took the soda can from Carly, drained it of any excess water and tossed it in the autoclave. "No germs come into this house and only clean garbage leaves." She set the machine to a low setting, turned the timer on for twenty seconds then got a large package of disinfectant wipes from a drawer and said, "I wipe down all of the canned goods with these before entering the apartment and all fruits and vegetables are thoroughly washed before they're stored in the refrigerator."

"Gotcha," Carly said with a nod of her head, knowing that Mrs. Benson might test her by sending her to the store sometime to see if Carly handled the dried goods properly. She picked up the plate from the counter and moved it under the still running water to rinse it off. "And for the plates?"

"After rinsing the used plates and utensils," the woman said as she rinsed out the sink, turned off the water and took the plate from the young girl, "they then go into the dish washer. The water heater for this apartment is set at one hundred-fifty degrees, more than enough to kill most germs." She placed the plate in the lower rack of the dish washing machine and closed the door.

Carly knew most water heaters were normally set for between one hundred-twenty and one hundred-thirty degrees after Spencer had explained it to her one time when she was younger. (She'd complained that the water in the shower felt too hot and they looked it up on the web to make sure.) She was about to ask if that temperature wasn't too severe for the showers, then Carly remembered back to helping Freddie out of the tub earlier after he had slipped. The cold tap was on full while the hot water faucet was barely turned on. The shower water was hot, but not too hot for her liking.

"Is there anything else I need to know?" Carly sweetly begged, hoping that it was, but having known Mrs. Benson for a quite a few years and listening to Freddie's stories, she knew that there probably would be more. (She half expected Mrs. Benson to have tossed the plate away and use a brand new one in its place.)

"I suppose you should learn how to work the autoclave," Marissa said as she pulled a laminated manual out of a nearby drawer. "You can read all about it in this." She handed the manual to Carly and then opened a cabinet door and pointed to a sheet of paper taped to the inside. "Here's a list of times and temperatures for everything you'd use the autoclave on. If you could, please memorize it."

"I will, Mrs. Benson," Carly said, keeping the sweet smile on her face to throw off the older woman while thinking Freddie's mom was totally bonkers.

"I'll go check on your laundry while you do that," Marissa said as she took off her yellow gloves and threw them away in the trash can. (Using the foot pedal to open the lid, of course, so she wouldn't have to touch the can at all with her hands.) Carly could see dozens of used gloved in the container before it slammed shut.

Xxxxxx

"My God," Carly complained as she enter apartment 8-C and saw Sam and her brother Spencer sitting on the old tan hued couch watching an episode of 'Girly Cow'. "That woman is worse that we imagined."

"What's up, kiddo?" Spencer asked as he and Sam got up and met her at the foot of the stairs.

Carly held out a tightly wrapped plastic bundle and said, "Mrs. Benson shrink-wrapped my clothes after taking them out of the dryer and I can't get it opened!" She tore at the plastic bundle with all her might for a few seconds but the plastic didn't rip, tear or budge. "See!"

"I'll get a knife," Spencer said as he turned to head toward the kitchen.

"Never mind," Sam said as she snatched the package from her friend, dropped it on the ground and then stomped on it with her bare foot. The shrink-wrapped bundle popped from the well placed heel-kick. (At one time Sam _did_ want to be a stealthy ninja when she grew up so it's not a big stretch of the imagination to realize that she would know a few martial arts moves like a heel kick.) The blond girl picked up the bundle, ripped off the plastic and handed the clothes to her friend. "Here ya go."

"Thanks, Sam," Carly said as she shook out her shirt and jeans, then checked the undergarments. She groaned, "I knew this would happen."

Sam immediately noticed what was wrong but Spencer was perplexed by what was upsetting his sister. He asked, "What's wrong?"

"The cotton bra shrunk, ya big dummy," Sam chided Spencer and gave him a nasty swat across his arm for not seeing the obvious difference in size. "Can't ya see that? We're gonna have to go to 'Build-a-Bra' to replace it."

"We can do that later," Carly said as she motioned her blond friend and brother over to the table in the kitchen to sit down and talk. "First we have to save Freddie from his mother."

"Sam mentioned something about what's going on," Spencer said, leaning back in the chair. "I agree Mrs. Benson needs help, so what's the plan?"

"Well, you're my official guardian while dad is completing his tour of duty," Carly said to her big brother, "so I think you should be the one who reports Mrs. Benson to Family Services and offer yourself as Freddie's new guardian."

"Wicked-smart," Sam marveled at Carly's plan. "That way Freddie can move in here and you two can live together happily ever after."

"That's not all," Carly interrupted her girl friend who, come to think about it, was also her girlfriend now. "I think Spencer should also report your mom, too, and then you could live with us."

"My mom _is_ a super-freak," Sam ceded. "But how can Spencer afford two more mouths to feed?"

"You both practically live here already," Spencer pointed out, thinking about how much time Freddie and Sam spent in apartment 8-C. "And if I adopt both of you, we'll receive a few buck from the state to help with living expenses."

"Spencer is right," Carly giggled to her friend. "You eat most, if not all, of your meals here already. I'm just surprised that Family Services haven't revoked you mom's custody."

"She did run into a little problem after she was arrested a few years ago," Sam said with a disgusted look on her face. "But mom slept with the judge to get the case thrown outta court. After that, all her lawyer had to do was mention the dismissed case and I'd be back home."

"That might prove to be a problem for us," Spencer groaned, thinking that Pam Puckett could use the same defense or tactic against them if they tried to get Sam away from her.

"Yeah," Sam said as her smile grew almost feral, "but my mom video taped her little party with the judge to use against him if she ever got in trouble again," she proudly patted her chest in triumph, indicating herself, "and mamma knows where the tape is hidden."

"So we're going to take down a judge, too?" Carly begged in horror at the idea. She always thought judges were suppose to be a pillar of the community, a shining example of something incorruptible, not a person subject to normal human vices. Pam Puckett getting off scot free simply by sleeping with a judge was a major blow to her view of the judicial system and the world.

"If he let Sam's mom sway her case with a little nookie," Spencer nonchalantly shrugged like it was a given, "then maybe he shouldn't be sitting on the bench in the first place."

"True-true," Sam seconded the idea.

"Now the way I see it," Carly said as she pulled out her cellphone and started texting Freddie with what was happening, then looked over to Sam, "we need to write up a list of your mom's and Mrs. Benson's... um, faults and eccentricities. I'm asking Freddie to make up a list and we'll do the same for your mom."

"You mean like how she's been arrested five times in the last two years?" Sam asked.

"And how she drives you to and from school when she's not fully awake or sober on a revoked driver's license," Carly added.

"And how she doesn't feed you properly," Spencer said, remembering how Sam would always raid the refrigerator the second she entered the apartment or after doing the show. Thinking about it, Spencer realized that Sam practically lived in the Shay's refrigerator.

"This is gonna be a loooong list," the Sam said as she got up from the kitchen table and headed for the fridge. "Got any ham to tide me over while we do this?" she asked over her shoulder as she practically disappeared, leaning far into the icebox to see what was on the back of the shelves.

Spencer let out with a loud laugh, wondering if Sam had read his thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the TV show **iCarly**. This is a whimsical little story from my own warped mind strictly for my own and my reader's enjoyment. I don't make any money off of it.

A/N: This is my take on how **iSaved Your Life** should've been written if I were Dan Schneider.

Xxxxxx

Germophobia

Chapter 3

Xxxxxx

"Well, that went quicker than I thought it would," Spencer, dressed in his one and only business suit from when he went to law school for three days, said as he and the three teens arrived at the eight floor of Bushwell Plaza. It'd only been three days since the plot to free Sam and Freddie from their mothers had been hatched and the combined hearings at Family Services had gone off without a hitch.

"Yeah," Freddie said as he brought up the rear in the hallway because of his crutches. "Our information was so well documented Family Services jumped on the inspections right away. The water heater temperature, autoclave and amount of tick bath solution mom has stored in the apartment really sealed the deal for my case."

"And the empty fridge, messy house and mom's criminal record got me out from under her thumb," Sam said with a broad smile. "I never felt so free."

"I'm surprised that Pam didn't put up that big of a fight," Spencer observed. "It was like she didn't want you at home anymore."

"She doesn't," Sam said, disgust evident in her voice. "Now she can bring her boyfriends home whenever she wants and not worry about me walking in on them while they're going at it."

"Did that happen often?" Freddie curiously asked.

"Where do you think I got some of the moves I put on you in your room the other day?" Sam slyly begged before kissing Freddie on the cheek. "But I better go home and get my junk before mom sells it for booze. Be back soon," she chimed before heading back down the hall to the elevators.

"We're lucky you thought to bring your mom's boss in to testify," Spencer said to Freddie, quickly changing the subject as they arrived at apartment 8-C. "Her cleanliness obsession almost got her suspended at work, but the hospital's board of directors stepped in and now they're gonna pick up your rent and utilities as part of her medical compensation package until her treatment is over. That means you can still live in your apartment. But you should still come over for all your meals."

"I will, Spence," Freddie said as he unlocked and opened the door to 8-D, then looked down at the suit he was wearing. "I'm gonna change into something more comfortable and then I'll be right over."

"Maybe Freddie should stay with us until he gets his cast off," Carly suggested. "He might slip and fall in the bathtub again and we'd never know about it until he was late for dinner."

"That's a good point," Spencer ceded as he unlocked the Shay's apartment door and thought about it for a few seconds. "I know. Freddie can stay in the spare bedroom across the hall from your room, Carly."

"I thought that was gonna be Sam's room," Freddie reminded them, essentially shooting down that idea. The three teens had talked it over the night they had made their lists just in case everything went as planned.

"We can always move Freddie's bed into my room," Carly suggested. She could see that her brother was going to say something, and she had a fairly good idea what he was going to say, so she quickly added, "Your room is too small to fit another bed in. Mine is huge so there's plenty of room for his bed and other stuff, and I can help him out if he has trouble dressing or getting out of bed."

"Yeah but you're a girl and Freddie's a guy," Spencer said, sounding a little wishy-washy and unsure if it was a good idea. "And like I said a few days ago in Freddo's room, you don't want a bunch of little Freddies and/or Carlys running around in nine months."

"Or little Sammys," the brown-haired boy quickly added with a broad chuckling smile. "Don't forget the possibility of a few little Sammys running around and causing trouble."

"You and Sam?" Spencer gasped in shock while pointing at Freddie. He turned to his sister. "But I thought you..." He'd obviously missed the brief banter between Freddie and Sam earlier.

"While you tell Spencer about what all happened that day," Freddie said as he hobbled in to his apartment, "I'm gonna change clothes and sit down. It's hard standing around on these crutches for any length of time."

"Need any help?" Carly begged with a bright but wicked smile on her face.

"Sure," the boy answered, catching her drift. He had the same idea of sharing his bed with Carly one more time before taking it apart and moving it across the hall.

With that, he made his way toward his bedroom followed by Carly who shut the door behind her.

Spencer stood there, dumbfounded, for a minute before he shrugged his shoulder and said, "Oh well. I'm sure I'll get an explanation later. I need to get lunch ready."

He entered the apartment and quickly chuckled, "And besides, babies don't run around until they're a year or two old so we won't hear the pitter-patter of little feet for a while."

Xxxxxx

The two teens entered apartment 8-C an hour later a little flushed from their sexual exertion but ready for lunch. Sam had already returned with all of her belongings from the Puckett residence so they all sat down at the kitchen table to eat and talk. Carly, Sam and Freddie took turns telling Spencer all about what'd happened three days ago in Freddie's bedroom, and while Spencer wasn't totally happy that the three teens were now lovers, he couldn't do much about it. What was done, was done. Both his sister and Sam were women now, in every sense of the word.

They then discussed and decided upon the living arrangements. Sam would get the guest bedroom and, for appearance sake, a partition would be erected around Freddie's bed in Carly's bedroom. Which bed they slept in was up to them but Spencer had a few rules that they had to strictly adhere to.

Rule One: Each person's clothes would remain in their specified room. There would be no leaving clothes in another bedroom because they'd been told Family Services was required to conduct snap inspections occasionally to make sure the household was operating properly. If it were discover that the sixteen year olds were sharing beds, Spencer would be in deep doo-doo.

Rule Two: Each bedroom would have an ample supply of condoms by each bed, hidden so Family Services would find them, but they'd be readily available when the nookie started. Spencer vowed that he'd make sure they were well supplied so no little accidents would occur.

And Rule Three: All homework would be completed before any hanky-panky began.

Sam came up with her own proviso if she were going to be living in the apartment. "There has to be at least two hams in the refrigerator at all times," she demanded. "The one being eaten, and a spare to start on when the first one is finished."

That brought a laugh to the table and Spencer said he'd do what he could to make sure there was more than enough ham (and bacon) in the fridge.

With the house rules settled, Sam, Carly and Spencer went across the hall to disassemble Freddie's bed and move it into apartment 8-C while Freddie tagged along to supervise and gather some of his clothes and other essentials that he would need.

Xxxxxx

Freddie nervously sat in the psychiatrist's personal office at Troubled Waters Mental Hospital with Sam and Carly flanking him for support, both a little anxious, too. They were waiting for Dr. Prudence to enter and discuss Mrs. Benson's prognosis with Freddie.

"What the chizz is going on with this doctor?" Sam grumbled as she glanced at the door for the twentieth time in the last five minutes since they had been led into the room. "What's taking him so long?"

"Sam, be patient," Carly reminded her friend and lover. "I'm sure he won't be long, now."

"Yeah, Sam," Freddie spoke up and leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek to calm her down. "He's probably finishing up with another patient. Mom's not the only patient in here, you know."

"Yeah-yeah," the blond waved off with a sigh. "I know. It's just that I wanna get my homework done and get you into bed before Spence gets back from fishing with Socko."

Sam had mellowed out quite a bit in the two weeks while living in the Shay's apartment. Carly suspected it was because the blond was getting boinked by her and Freddie on a regular basis, but wouldn't voice that theory out loud. Sam still had her moments when she'd act out in violence, but it was now directed solely toward Gibby or some inanimate object, instead haphazardly.

It was also good to hear that Sam _wanted_ to do her homework. But that was only because the two girls couldn't spend any between-the-sheets time with Freddie until the work was done.

Just then, a short man dressed in a light brown tweed suit entered the room. He absently scratched his full beard and then ran his hand through his messy red hair before sitting down at his desk and said in greeting, "Good afternoon Mr. Benson. Who do we have with us today?"

"These are my good friend, Carly Shay and Sam Puckett," Freddie said in introduction while indicating each of the girls. "They know all about my mom's behavior problems and they're here to support me."

"It's good that you have such friends," the doctor said as he leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head. "You'll need all the support you can get during this trial in your young life."

"So what's the verdict, doc?" Sam asked, wanting to get all this over with quickly.

"The verdict is as you first suspected, Freddie," Dr. Prudence said as he casually rocked back and forth in his chair. "You're mother is suffering from OCD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, stemming from your birth and the death of her sister from a virus. Those two events, happening so close together and now that she's working in a hospital, a normally sterile environment, only ramped up the symptoms into the full-blown obsession.

"So what can be done about it?" Freddie queried.

"Well, because your mother's obsessions are so deeply seeded, we are facing a long and difficult struggle to cure her." The doctor leaned forward onto his desk with his arms folded in front of him. "She must first realize that she was _not_ the cause of her sister's death, nor were germs and viruses in general."

"Mrs. Benson blames herself for her sister's death?" Carly queried.

"In a way, yes," the doctor replied. "Mrs. Benson and her new husband had a small disagreement as to who would take Judy to the hospital. Gerald finally put his foot down and said _he_ would take her despite her being a nurse. Marissa thinks that if she drove the car to the hospital, the accident wouldn't have happened and her sister would still be alive; Thus, the guilt."

"But that's crazy," Sam almost shouted.

"Yes. Yes it is," Dr. Prudence nodded. "So we must dissuade that way of thinking along with the idea that _all_ microbial matter is harmful to the human body."

"Okay, you lost me there Doc, with the micro whatever," Sam said in confusion.

"In small quantities in the body," Dr. Prudence explained, "some infectious germs are necessary to kick start your immune system... to build up a defense against them and other diseases. Also, your digestive tract uses certain types of microbes and enzymes to break down the food you eat. If you eliminate them, your body wouldn't function efficiently."

"Okay," Freddie said in deep thought about what had been discussed so far. "So all you need to do is reeducate mom and she'll get better. How long will this take?"

Dr. Prudence let out a heavy sigh as he leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers behind his head as he said, "It's always difficult to put a specific time frame on such matters. We're talking about reprogramming a nurse who has been trained to keep their surrounding environment absolutely clean. We'll put her on a drug for her anxiety but the counseling sessions could take months, if not years, depending on how well she accepts her new way of thinking."

"Well, thanks for the information, Dr. Prudence," Freddie said as he stood up, thinking that the briefing was over. "I'll keep in touch."

"You'll do more than that, young man," the doctor said as he stood from his desk and moved around it to talk face-to-face. "Family support during counseling is vital to the process. You'll have to attend as many sessions as you are able."

"So you're still stuck with your crazy mom," Sam joked to her boyfriend.

"Sam!" Carly chided the blond.

"That's okay, Carls," Freddie said as he wrapped a loving arm around her waist. "I had a feeling that I'd have to be majorly involved in mom's recovery."

"That's the proper spirit," Dr. Prudence said as he escorted the three teens to the door. "I'll let you know when we'll need you."

"Thanks, Dr. Prudence," Freddie said, shook his hand and the three teens left the office.

"Well, what do you want to do now?" Carly asked as they left the building and started to walk back to Bushwell Plaza and their home.

"I have a sudden urge to get my homework done quickly," Freddie said, walking between the two girls and taking them in arm.

"Mine's almost all completed," Carly said with a huge smile and kiss on his cheek. "I'd really just like to lie down with my boyfriend and cuddle for a while."

"That sound like a plan," Sam cheered.

-30-

And that completes this little fable. I hope you enjoyed it. Review if you like but I won't get into the Creddie v Seddie argument. This is my story and I'm sticking to it.


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